Stayin' Alive

As I write this, Grayson is officially 3 weeks old.  It some ways it seems like 3 weeks have flown by and other ways it seems like an eternity (probably due to lack of sleep).  In his first few weeks, Grayson survived his circumcision, went to the doctor three times, went to Mommy's doctors appointment, visited Granny and Papa (and Great Grandma), and celebrated Daddy's birthday.  He really is a mover and a shaker.

Grayson has put on over 2 pounds since coming home from the hospital.  (He dropped from his initial birth weight to 5 pounds, 15 ounces).  He is now up to 8 pounds, 2 ounces.  I had some difficulty breastfeeding him before my milk came in.  It took about 4 days and we did have to supplement him with formula twice during that time.  But ever since the 4th day, he's been doing really well with the breastfeeding.  But it's really hard.  And EVERYTHING is sticky!  I've been able to feed him and also pump a little bit to start my freezer stash for when I go back to work.  My goal is to make it at least six months, but I'm going to see what happens.

The pediatrician is very happy with his weight gain and how he is developing,  We couldn't be more pleased with our decision to go with North Pinellas Children's Medical Center.  We go to the office in Westchase, but there are also offices in Trinity and Palm Harbor.  There was a little concern about his hip (because he was breech), but an ultrasound has determined that it is fine and all of his tests have come back normal so far. 

Some folks have been asking where we came up with the name Grayson.  To be honest, we both just really liked the name.  Here is the meaning of Grayson (which I love!):

A rare boy, with the ability to love with all his heart.  He is sensitive, and he will give everything he has to the one he loves.  He can be moody at times, and he doesn't like to open up unless he feels absolutely comfortable.  He is usually very athletic, by can get frustrated easily.  He is caring, loving, and is in tune with how others are feeling.  Graysons usually like to help others, and sometimes Graysons give more of themselves than they should. They are always good-looking.  Graysons usually find more luck than the average person.  Sometimes they need someone to provide a little direction, and then they'll get on track.  A Grayson is genuine, loving, and is rare.  

The description seems to sum up our little man very well so far.  We aren't sure what color eyes he has just yet, but it would be really cool if he did have gray eyes.  Turns out that Ben's great grandfather has gray eyes as does my great-great grandfather.     

I've been reading the book The Baby Whisperer and Grayson really is responding to her E.A.S.Y method/routine.  (Stands for Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time).  What activity time does a 3 week old do, you ask?  Basically we stare at each other and stick out our tongues and talk about our plans for the day.  Ben and I have discovered that we have what the Baby Whisperer calls a "textbook baby"  and he is pretty predictable.  However, there are always times that he gets overstimulated or overheated or cold or etc...  But we are learning how to read his cues.

Other happenings in the past couple of weeks:

I tried the Boba Wrap this past weekend and Grayson absoustely loved it.  He fell alseep approximately 45 seconds after we put him in.  (don't mind the hair, glasses, and pajama pants..)

Grayson had his second outing at the Upper Tampa Bay Trail.  He and I walked 2 miles and Daddy ran a little more. 

Grayson and Daddy really enjoy their story time.  (Poky Little Puppy was one of Ben's favorites)

Just hanging out with Mommy:

I've officially been home for 3 full weeks, 2 of them by myself.  The first day that Ben went back to work was quite possibly the scariest day of my life.  I couldn't wait for him to come home from work!  And I can honestly say that being a stay at home mom is the hardest task I've ever attempted.  There are no lunch breaks, there are no coworkers to talk with, and the time just seems to slip away from me.  I'm not sure how others are able to handle this full time (I'm SO not worthy!).  But, my "mom confidence" is growing as the weeks go on and I know that going back to work is going to be extremely difficult.

I went to the doctor two weeks after delivery and the doctor was really pleased with the progress on my incision.  In fact, three different people had to come in and look at it.  Both my sister and Ben agree that the incision looks really good (I honestly haven't had the courage to look yet).  My doctor said that I can start walking (he recommended a half a mile), and then at my 6 week appointment (March 17th), we can discuss running/lifting weights.  

To be completely honest, when I'm out walking, I really want to give running/jogging a try.  However, I know that doing too much too soon could compromise my recovery and when I will be able to actually run again.  So, for now, I've been sticking with walking and yoga.  There will be plenty of time to run/jog in about 3 more weeks.

Finally, I've had many friends/family members who have also given birth to baby boys this month.  I'm currently referring to them as Grayson's entourage.  I'm certain that they will grow up and do gross little boy things, and I just can't wait!  Here they are in birth order:  

• Liam Jordan - born February 2nd to my running buddy Michelle and her husband Larry
• Owen James - born February 6th (same as Grayson) to my childhood friend Kristen and her husband Joey
• Declan  Cole - born February 14th to my college roommate Melissa and her husband Vern
• Dexter Owen - born February 18th to Ben's coworker Micah and his wife Karen
• Malachi Otis - born February 26th to our cousin Kristi and her husband Bo

I'm not going to post any of their pictures because I haven't gotten prior approval from their parents ;)  However, it is really nice to be able to text my friends in the middle of the night, knowing that they will be awake for their feedings.  Just knowing that someone else is going through something similar is comforting and very often we provide comedic relief for each other.

That's a little update about what we've been up to the past couple of weeks.  It's all very exciting stuff ;)

B+L+G

A Dad's Perspective

Author’s note: I apologize I advance for the length of this post, but it isn't often that I’m asked, or even permitted to write a blog (the very first, in fact), so I am taking full advantage of the opportunity!

Friday, February 6th started the way most days leading up to it started. Laura and I woke up, got ready, and went to work. I was much more at ease since earlier in the week we visited her OB/GYN, and came up with a strategy: Laura would stop the Heparin shots the upcoming Sunday evening; we could go in for an ultrasound on Monday; and depending on the results of the ultrasound, start induction or go in for a C-section on Tuesday. Tuesday the 10th was going to be the day! The day that our family was to start! While it wasn't what we’d planned for or wanted, at least we had a concrete plan… at least until about 10:30 on Friday.

I got a text message from Laura saying she’d been having some pains in her back that she thought may have been contractions; they became regular, so she started keeping track of them. They were rather close together, but very short in duration. We were both convinced that since they were only in her back that they were Braxton hicks contractions, and weren't really the ‘real deal’. Well that was until they continued on through lunch and into the afternoon. I recommended she go home and relax as much as possible, and thankfully her supervisors agreed and insisted she leave. I wrapped things up at the office shortly after she headed for home, and got there about 30 minutes after she did.

As soon as I saw her face when a contraction hit, I knew it was likely the ‘real deal’ after all. From what we learned previously, I suspected that our little peanut was still in the wrong position and was likely pressing against her back, causing the back contractions. We decided to continue to relax at home, I mean, nobody has their first kid fast right? It takes HOURS of labor…

As Laura already mentioned, we were watching Jimmy Fallon write out his Thank You notes (Thank YOU to Jimmy Fallon for getting the ball rolling!) when the Great Deluge happened. That is when things started to blur for me – there was no question whether the contractions were real or not. Those very real contractions started to get more intense, now that there was no amniotic fluid cushioning her pelvis. Still operating under the assumption that our Baby Fox was breech, we decided it was high time to get on the road and beat as much rush hour traffic as we could.

As the more intense contractions hit Laura, I tried to be as supportive and constructive as possible, reciting mantras that our doula introduced – like ‘do your best to relax’. I believe the exact response I got back was, “If you tell me to relax one more time, I’m going to punch you in the face.” Now, I’m used to this threat after the number of miles we’ve run together, but this time I was scared. So I decided that instead of giving suggestions of relaxation, I’d just comment on the traffic we were in. That was also a poor decision on my part. After a few terse miles, we were in the clear and pulled into Mease Countryside Hospital just after 5pm.

I believe Laura did a more than sufficient job in her blog post earlier of describing the series of events leading up to her transportation into the delivery room. By that time, the initial diagnosis by the admitting nurse was that our munchkin had flipped, so we were riding high, and there wasn't a big hurry to get her IV in, etc. That all changed when Dr. Ancheta arrived and did his own exam. Since they ignored our request for an ultrasound to confirm the position of the baby, it came as a shock that he determined that it was indeed not a head, but a bottom that could be felt through her cervix. She had progressed an additional 3 cm in the 15 minutes between exams. This kid was coming fast! The call was made for an emergency C-section, and at the word “Stat!” the place whipped into frenzy. I was led to the side of the room and a Tyvek suit was thrust into my arms, with instructions to put it on. As I tried to make sense of how to comply with those instructions, they started to wheel Laura out of the room. I went to follow and was told that I must put the clothes on before I could proceed. I was left alone; with but a single nurse e.g. guard to ensure I was fully robed as required before taking me back to the Operating Room. When we arrived at the door to the OR Laura was in, I was told to wait in a solitary chair positioned in a tiny alcove adjacent to the hallway for word on when I could be admitted. A great number of gowned figures passed in and out of the door while I waited. Finally, a nurse exited and came up to me, telling me that the anesthesiologist was uncomfortable with how recently she’d had a Heparin dosage (that morning) and was unwilling to proceed with a spinal epidural for fear of hemorrhage. That meant that our worst case scenario was becoming reality – general anesthesia cesarean. Keep in mind that less than 10 minutes prior we believed it was possible we would have an unassisted ‘natural’ vaginal delivery – the exact opposite end of the spectrum we were now squarely faced with. With her being put under general anesthesia, it meant that I could not be present in the OR when my child was born. The nurse assured me that Laura was in good hands, and I conceded that I knew that to be true. The nurse then retired back into the OR, only to be replaced with another different nurse telling me the same exact thing, nearly verbatim. I reassured that nurse that I understood. That nurse was subsequently followed by no less than four more with the same spiel. I distinctly recall thinking there must be a hidden camera somewhere and I was going to find myself face to face with the Impractical Jokers.

Finally when 80% of the attending team of nurses finished assuring me of their competence, one truly helpful nurse gave me the tip that a dad earlier in the week discovered a small area in the window that the frosting had been scratched off, and a determined observer might be able to gain a few glimpses of the procedure. I eagerly found the clear spot, about the size of your pinkie fingernail and surveyed the room beyond. I could see the clean zone tarp and much of the equipment surrounding Laura, but I could not see her at all. It was obvious by the frantically coordinated movements of the team that the operation had begun. In the adjacent OR, the two cleaning ladies kept talking about how much blood the previous mother had lost and how it was a mess to clean up. I prayed harder in those few minutes than I ever have in my life for God to deliver a healthy baby, and to keep Laura safe. From inside the OR I could hear general words being spoken, but could not make them out. Before too long, I could see Dr. Ancheta hold our baby up, and I could distinctly make out the word ‘girl’ spoken inside. So it was a girl? I was convinced our baby was going to be a boy. I quickly determined that it was part of a question – “Boy or girl? Boy or girl?!” There was what seemed like a very long pause before the response: “Boy! It’s definitely a boy!” And it was then that I simultaneously broke out in a grin and in tears. They put him on the table, cleaned him off, and suctioned out his mouth and nose, then left him to scream bloody murder. He was kicking so violently I pitied the nurse that had to go wrangle him to get his weight and measurements. Shortly after that, a nurse came out and asked if I’d been able to see the gender of the baby and if I wanted her to take some photos inside the OR of my brand new baby boy.

When she returned with my camera, she gave me the run-down of what I could expect moving forward. They would be bringing my son out to me shortly, and he and I would be able to spend some time bonding while they finished up the procedure with Laura – in all, about 45 minutes just him and me. She then asked if my sister-in-law was Kim, an AOD at another Mease hospital in New Port Richey; when I confirmed this, she asked my permission to let her know that both mom and baby were doing well. I agreed, but asked that the gender be kept a secret.

An excruciatingly long couple minutes later, they brought out my son. The nurse was required to carry him to the postpartum room, where she could then hand him over. Once she relinquished him, she asked if I wanted her to turn on the TV, and to what channel. I’m sure my face must have betrayed my disgust at the idea; I told her that I was holding the only entertainment I needed. During those 45 minutes he and I discussed all manner of things, from his plans for the future to what his family is like. When I say ‘discussion’ I really mean ‘monologue’, but having no evidence to the contrary, we both thoroughly enjoyed it.

When Laura was finally brought in, she met our son for the first time face-to-face. She was still a bit out of it when she first arrived, but quickly regained her lucidity once our baby was in her arms. For the next hour and a quarter we could have no guests, so we made the most of that time to bond as a family, leaving our families sitting in wonder out in the waiting room. It was during that time that we decided he definitely did not look like a Landon Henry – one of the two names we had narrowed it down to, should he be a boy. At the end of the recovery period, I was able to go out and greet our families. I had it all planned out what I wanted to say and how I wanted to reveal the gender; but upon seeing them all, my mind went to mush, and I think I asked a blasé question about how they were doing instead. At the near-hysterical demands of the group, I admitted the family name would continue an additional generation and proceeded to bring them back to meet our baby boy, Grayson James Raposa… and to check on Laura. But make no mistake about it; she and I both know who the most popular member of the Raposa household is these days: Mr. Gray-J.

The following days in the hospital were a blur, with all the nurses, questions, feedings, diaper changes, brief periods of sleep, family and friends, it wasn't long before we were packed and ready to come home to start incorporating our miracle into our daily lives, and adapting those daily lives to accommodate the most popular Little Fox on the block.

Grayson James Raposa's birth story - Mommy's version of events

Here is my recollection events of Friday, February 6, 2015 AKA the best day of my life so far:

Friday morning I got up at normal time (around 5:45 am) and started to get ready for work.  I noticed that my back was a little tight/sore, but it was not too uncomfortable.  I had been moving pretty slow, so it took some time to take a shower, have a cup of coffee, and get ready for work.  Right before I left, Ben gave me my heparin shot and I headed in to the office.  Seemed like it was going to be a typical Friday.

I had planned on going grocery shopping when I got home from work and Ben was scheduled to run the Best Damn Race in Safety Harbor on Saturday morning.  I was planning to spectate and cheer him and some other friends on.  Our mindset was that this was going to be our last weekend without a baby and we were going to relax, stock everything up, and maybe go out to dinner as well.

Around 10 am or so, I started noticing that my back pains were getting worse, but only for about 30 seconds or so.  I went to a lecture given by the United Way and just tried to stay as relaxed as possible.  When I got back to the office around 11 am, I started googling "How to tell if you are in labor".  That was the point that I decided to start keeping track of my "contractions" to see how frequently they were coming (this task also keep my mind busy and gave me something to do as well as being able to send the information to Ben so he could see):

At this point on Friday, we started to have "fire drills" to test some system (I honestly didn't care too much to ask).  Since my office is on the 3rd floor, we had to take the stairs down to wait in the safe area while the drill was ongoing.  And since I did not want to get stuck in an elevator in case of an actual emergency or equipment failure, I took the stairs back up to my office when the drill was over.  This happened twice.  I honestly thought that I might not make it.  (One of my coworkers later asked him if we named him Grayson because I looked so gray on Friday...)

It got to be about 2:00 and my coworker, Wendy, told me to go home.  She went to speak with my boss and then they both came in to my office and said to go home.  I thought about it for a second and then conceded.  The drive home was pretty uncomfortable, I couldn't really talk on the phone and was just trying to breathe and get home as quickly and safely as possible.

When I got home, I put on some music and got in the bath.  Ben was on his way home and I was not really in a condition to be doing anything.  I wasn't sure if this was actual labor, but the contractions were coming pretty steadily.  They would only last for a couple of seconds.  We didn't really know what to do, if we should go to the hospital or if we should just try to stay at home in case these weren't really contractions/labor.  I got out of the bath and we decided that we were going to watch the recorded version of Jimmy Fallon from the night before to relax and laugh a little bit.

Just as Jimmy was writing out his thank you notes, (around 4:30 pm) my water broke (all over the couch!).  At this point, we both went in to panic mode.  The contractions started to get more intense and we now had to drive to the hospital in Friday rush hour traffic.  We had made the drive several times, and had our route planned out.  I tried to call our doctor on the way to the hospital, but his office was being moved that same day and the line kept ringing busy.

I could hardly believe that this was happening - we were sitting in 5:00 traffic and couldn't get a hold of the doctor.  We had agreed that Ben would call his parents and my sister and then they would spread the news to the rest of our immediate family.  He made his phone calls and tried to calm me down as much as possible (not particularly an easy task).  We arrived at the hospital right before 5:00 and went up to the labor and delivery floor.

The receptionist told us to have a seat and she would get our paperwork ready to fill out.  I couldn't believe that this woman expected me to complete paperwork while I was in labor.  I shifted the papers to Ben and told him to fill them out and then I would just sign them.  At this point, we still did not know for sure if the baby had flipped or not.  We indicated that we would need to get an ultrasound as soon as possible to determine the positioning of the baby.

They told us to have a seat in the lobby/waiting room and someone would be with us shortly.  I could not believe that I was now sitting in the lobby of the hospital in full blown labor on a Friday evening, just waiting.  At this point, Ben tried to help keep me relaxed until the woman came to get us.  Basically I just remember telling Ben that I could not do this.  Over and over again.

They finally came to get us to check to make sure I was in labor and see if I was dilated.  I'm going to estimate it was probably around 5:30 to 5:45 pm at this point.  The woman had me get undressed and checked me. I was already 5 cm dilated(!)  Ben reiterated the fact that we did not know if the baby was still in the breech position, so the woman felt around and said that she felt a head.  We were super relieved at this point because that means I could potentially have a vaginal delivery instead of a c-section, which is what we were hoping for.

My dad and my sister arrived at this point and came in the room.  I told them that this was the real deal and we are going to have this baby today!  They asked me if I wanted to walk to the delivery side of the floor, to which I promptly said no.  They brought in a wheelchair we were off to the races.  It was incredible how many people were in that tiny room all around me so quickly.

In the delivery room, Dr. Ancheta finally showed up!  We asked him again about the breech position and he felt around and said "that is not a head, that is a bottom".  At this point, everything escalated.  I'm going to estimate that it was about 6:00 pm at this point and the doctor indicated that I was already 8 centimeters dilated and that I was going to have to have an emergency c-section.  Part of me was relived and another part of me was terrified.

The doctors and nurses took one look at my stomach (which was extremely bruised from all the heparin shots) and wanted to know what the bruising was from.  We told them that I was on heparin due to a clotting disorder and I had a shot around 7 am.  The next thing I know, I'm on a stretcher rolling down the hospital hallway just staring at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling.  I can honestly say that I've never been so scared in my entire life.

When I got in to the operating room, the anesthesiologist decided that I would need to be under general anesthesia instead of a typical spinal epidural.  I knew this meant that Ben (or anyone else) could not be with me, but I asked them anyway.  The next thing I know, I'm staring at the big surgical lights and breathing in to a mask.  What occurred after this moment is a mystery to me.

I woke up a short time later to people calling my name.  It was eerily quiet as I opened my eyes and looked around.  I asked the nurse if I had my baby as she was wheeling me to my postpartum room (this trek seemed to take FOREVER!).  She said yes.  Clearly she wasn't going to give me any additional information without prompting, so I asked if the baby was a boy or a girl.  She said it was a boy.  I just smiled and then asked how/where Ben was.  She said that he was in the room with the baby.

It was love at first sight.  My first thought (and things were a little fuzzy coming out of surgery) was that he looked just like Ben, but a little more wrinkled.  He was born at 6:40 pm, weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces and 19.25 inches long.  I honestly thought he would be bigger!  We still hadn't decided on a name since we didn't know the gender.  Our boy name choices were narrowed down to Landon Henry or Grayson James and upon laying eyes on our handsome fella, he definitely did not look like a Landon.  (Our girl name was going to be Jocelyn Ann).  Here are some shots from the hospital:

My men:

 After eating

After the first bath

 Finally home and passed out

 Morning "activity" time with Mommy

Suddenly, all the things that people kept telling me started to make more sense.  It still feels a little strange that we are parents.  The goal is to have Ben's version of events posted at some point to help fill in the blanks that I am unable to.  This adventure has been such a roller coaster.  There have been highs, lows, sweet rewards, and frustrations.  We are trying to navigate parenthood as best as we can, but every day when I look at this sweet face, it is so worth it.  More about the first couple of weeks of Grayson's life later, hopefully this makes enough sense to y'all and my spelling and grammar isn't too terrible.  :)

Week #38 - subtitle - Final countdown!

This week, Baby Raposa is approximately 19.75 inches long, 6.8 pounds, and about the size of a leek.  The good news for this week is that my weight gain should slow, stop or even drop a little (thank goodness because it's starting to get uncomfortable!).  This photo pretty much sums up how I feel:

This one is pretty funny/true as well:

Some people have been asking me about working out/running and I am still staying slightly active.  I haven't really "ran/jogged" since January, but I have been walking several times a week.  The walking should help open up the hips and help prepare for childbirth.  There are some days when I just need to come home and relax after work, though.  I foolishly thought that I would be able to stay extremely active throughout my pregnancy, but that just hasn't been realistic some days. Here is a run down of what I did last week:

Monday: yoga
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: 2 mile solo walk
Thursday: 3 mile walk with Ben
Friday: rest
Saturday: walked to and around Kumquat Festival, maybe 1 mile or so
Sunday: 6 mile solo walk at Flatwoods

Here is a rundown of the highlights from Week #38:

On Friday, my coworkers threw me and Ben a "book shower". (Yes, another shower - this is the last one!).  The premise is to give books instead of traditional baby shower gifts, which was awesome.  Both Ben and I love to read and we have been reading to the baby almost every night before bed.  We haven't received any Dr. Seuss books until Friday.  It was kind of interesting how many we got from people who work in academics(!).  But here is the growing collection of books that Baby Raposa has accumulated:

We can only hope that he or she loves books and reading as much as we do.  The only shower game we played was trying to guess which coworker bought which book.  Let's just say that we did not win.  But, the shower lots of fun and my coworkers got specific gifts just for Ben, which was adorable.  Also, I have to show you this adorable photo on the fruit carriage that one of my coworkers made:

On Saturday, we decided that we were going to check out the Kumquat Festival in Dade City.  It was crazy crowded!  In hindsight, I don't think we would have chosen to go if we would have known how nuts it really would be.  But, we did pick up some kumquat honey (so good!) and got to squeeze in a quick visit with Ben's parents.

We had a couple of things to drop off/pick up in Wiregrass, so we decided to stop in at 100 Montaditos, which just opened in the mall on the way home for lunch.  They are a Spanish tapas style restaurant with mini sandwiches (3 inches long).  The sandwiches were really good, but the dessert sandwiches were amazing!  We would go back just for dessert!

Then we decided that we should stop in at Sam's Club on the way home as well, just to stock up on household/paper goods for when the baby comes.  Since it was the Saturday before the Super Bowl, it was obviously pretty crowded.  But, we were able to stock up the pantry and freezer.  It's hard to believe that our lives are going to be so different in just a few short days, but we are doing our best to squeeze in as much as possible and get ready before then!

On Tuesday, we had another doctor's appointment.  This appointment was literally the first time that we haven't waited almost an hour for our appointment, but since this will most likely be our last appointment it was pretty fitting.  The doctor, Ben and I discussed the ECV again and decided that the procedure would be a little risky for me because of the blood clotting disorder.  I'm not even kidding when I tell y'all that right now my stomach looks like a literal battlefield.  The heparin shots have caused quite a bit of bruising and it's not a good look.  That combined with the ECV would cause even more bruising and may potentially not even work.

The doctor agreed to order another ultrasound for Monday to check the baby's positioning.  Until then, we are basically in a holding pattern - a few things can happen.  One, the baby can chose to come at any moment (best case scenario).  Two, at the ultrasound on Monday the baby could have moved to the correct position and we are going to be induced on Tuesday evening.  Three, the baby is still in the breech position on Monday and we will have a c-section on Tuesday (worse case scenario).  Whatever happens, it appears that by this time next week, Baby Raposa will be here (just typing that is nuts!)

Finally, I have to brag on Benjamin for just a minute, because he's really been nothing short of amazing the past couple of weeks.  He has assumed so many new roles - storyteller, doctor (now administering two shots per day, which he draws up himself), chef, and official assembler of all things baby.  He patiently sits next to me as I hang upside down on the stairs and talks to the baby, it's all very sweet.  I'm certain I may melt in to a little pile of mush upon seeing him with the baby in his arms.

That is all for now, y'all - next post may very well be Baby Raposa's birth story (assuming I can still form coherent thoughts).